Why I Quit Believing

I know this blog will come as a shock to some who will read it, and a moment of victory to others. I’ve been wrestling with things I have believed and that have been a part of my life as long as I can remember, things I held so strongly that at times I chose those things over relationships with some of the people in my life. However, over the past decade or so, I have come to realize that the thing I based much of my life upon and made most of my life decisions on just wasn’t true. 

When you realize that the foundation of what you are building is faulty, you only have two choices. You can keep building, knowing that one day everything built on the foundation will come crashing down. Or you can stop building, remove everything down to the foundation, and then start over. 

The problem with the first option is that no matter what you are building, you know that eventually it will all fall down. And when it does fall, everyone around you will see the destruction. So, any enthusiasm or joy you once received from building will no longer be there, and everything you do just becomes dead, dull, and dry. 

The problem with the second option is that it takes a high level of humility to admit that you not only were wrong, but also requires you to tear down what you have built publicly in the sight of all those who either helped you to build, or those whose relationships you walked away from while building.

Both options eventually become public knowledge. The difference is really only how long you want to continue being wrong. It isn’t a choice of if you will become humbled; it’s just when you will become humbled. 

So, I have decided to take option number two, and publicly address the truth that over the past ten years or so, I have stopped believing. I know this is going to shock some people. I know some people will feel as if I have let them down. I know some people will be angry because I openly announced my unbelief. I also know others will feel betrayed. 

However, having travelled the path to the conclusions to which I’ve arrived, I had no choice but to admit to myself that I no longer believed what I once believed, and because I no longer believed, I could not keep pretending I do.

So, here is my public proclamation for all to read. I no longer believe that my way is the only way. But, I fully believe that G-D’s way is the only way. I no longer believe that only those in my group are right. But, I fully believe that only those in G-D’s group are right. I no longer believe. I no longer believe I am responsible for how others believe, nor how others act. But, I am responsible for how I believe and act. 

As I get older and learn more about G-D and His love and mercy for me, the more I can see the long path I have walked upon. The more I look at my path the more I see that, contrary to my beliefs, my path to G-D has not been direct and straight, but rather it has been filled with detours and jaunts in the wrong directions. I have spent many years walking my personal inconsistent and erratic wilderness journey, while all the time complaining about the erratic and errant path walked by all of those around me. 

So, although I have been changing my beliefs for many years now, I chose today to publicly announce that I am digging up the faulty foundation of my arrogance toward all others who are walking the path towards G-D. Because while I absolutely believe there is only One Way to G-D and that is through Yeshua (Jesus), and I absolutely believe what I believe and will continue to walk faithfully according to the teachings of the Torah and New Covenant Writings. I no longer believe that every path has to look exactly like mine. There is and always will be only one way to be redeemed, but our route from who we were to who we will be will be different.

So, now you know why I no longer believe everyone needs to be like me, and why I believe that G-D never wanted them to be like me. He wants all of us to be like Him. 

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness! Let them rule over the fish of the sea, over the flying creatures of the sky, over the livestock, over the whole earth, and over every crawling creature that crawls on the land.” God created humankind in His image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them.

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭1‬:‭26‬-‭27‬ ‭